It is a misconception that New Yorkers are rude; they are just busy and minding their own business. Most of the time they are packed in each subway car so tightly that they need to learn to synchronize their inhales to allow for the next exhales. You wouldn’t be able to push a paperclip in between their bodies and yet, I have witnessed the strange phenomenon, which I like to call, the “circus trick” twice.

Domestic violence is complicated. Victims must first recognize that what they are experiencing is abuse. The perpetrators are skilled at having rules in place aimed at confusing and masking violent behaviors, maintaining financial or emotional dependency and promoting low self esteem in their partners. I only realized after years of therapy that I misconstrued my ex’s overly attentive behavior at the beginning of our relationship as genuine love for me rather than recognizing it as the systematic grooming of a teenager (I was eighteen when I met him).